Third trimester

I kept going to work even though I was doing it tough. Everyone in the office were wonderfully supportive and understanding. I was often sick at my desk and tissues and glasses of water would be fetched by my colleagues. If I needed to work from home I could.

I stayed at work until Friday 5th June, 2009. It was a sad day with mixed emotions. I had worked at NTC for over 4 years and it was totally weird and uncomfortable having to let go of the reigns on the projects I had been working on. To try and cheer me up Robbie and I had a lovely 'date night' in the city once I packed up my things from the office. We had dinner down on the water at Docklands and then went and saw Cirque du Soleil which was just breathtaking!

I sure did get around with my bump. We went to the Wallabies match on 23rd June. Good thing mum had bought me a large jersey for my 21st all those years ago as it fit snuggly over the top of my belly!

When you're in the sleep-work-sleep cycle of life and that's pretty much all you do, I found the entire concept of being home with a baby hard to imagine. When I was on leave however I sure did keep myself busy! For the weeks leading up to my due date I pulled out the sewing machine and started appliqueing baby bodysuits and bunny rugs and making bibs. This kept me amused and my mind off things to come. I never felt anxious about the birth or having a baby. There was no angst as the 'big day' approached. It was very hard to sleep at night but I was lucky not to have morning sickness for the last month or so. I did however get the brown line that ran from under my breast right down to my pubic bone.

I never got a single stretch mark and my belly was enormous!!!

My belly just kept on getting bigger and bigger. We went up to the scenic deck at the Eureka Tower on 11th July. We tried to stay active and keep doing as much as we could before our little one arrived. We were just so excited about it - I kept saying we both wouldn't be able to hack it if bub went over the due date. Considering we're both control freaks we needed to know bub was coming on the 27th and it was set in stone!

I actually hoped I would go into labour before my due date just so it was all over and done with and we wouldn't have to wait any longer! We attended antenatal classes at Peninsula Private Hospital for 3 sessions. They were pretty informative but even though we saw a baby be born on video, I kind of felt the classes were not really designed to prepare you for what was going to happen. Apparently 'huffy puffy' classes are a thing of the past and the new idea is to just let the mother 'go with the flow'... I didn't want to have an epidural but besides that I left my options open.

Penny was due on 27th July and a fortnight before hand my cousin Brendan was getting married on the Friday afternoon. We travelled for around 4 hours and by this stage it was a tough gig to sit so long on my tail bone.The family still laugh at how HUGE I was and that I looked like I was about to explode. I recall saying to mum that I only felt as big as another woman there who was 6 months pregnant - when everyone burst out laughing I realised maybe I was a little bigger than I thought! The wedding was beautiful and Robbie even managed to get me up for a boogie on the dancefloor!

Little did I know bub was all ready to make her grand appearance less than 48 hours later...

Second Trimester

The new year was a hard slog - 24 hours a day. The morning sickness was all day sickness and I lived with a plastic container in my bag which I could rinse out and reuse! The train trips into work were so hard. Once I was feeling incredibly green on the train and had to get off. Unfortunately I was on an express from Cheltenham to South Yarra and was sick down my front before the stop. I had to get off and try to clean myself up, call Robbie to say I was on my way home and get up the courage to hop on the next train back to Seaford. This became a familiar occurance.

Along with the sickness I also had terrible dizzy spells and once I passed out on the train to have sime girls around me pouring a bottle of water down my back. Again, had to return home. Once I was aware of the warning signs I could quietly mention to the person sitting next to me I was ill and to watch my bag if I should happen to faint! What a hopeless situation to be in surrounded by strangers!

On the 21st March we traveled up to Tathra for Robbie's cousin's wedding. It was a tough gig trying to find something to wear to a beach wedding when you're 5 months pregnant! It was a lovely weekend away and the sickness didn't wreak too much havoc. I was naughty and ate lots of fresh prawns that were irresistible! The list of things that you can and cannot eat while pregnant went out the window that weekend!!

First Trimester

It's been 4 months now since my little girl came into the world. It's really true when people tell you it will fly by right before your eyes. I keep saying to myself that if I don't write down these experiences I will forget them - and I am afraid I already have...

We found out I was pregnant in November (can't really recall the date). As we waited for the pregnancy test results Robbie was full of excitement. We looked at the stick together from memory. I think I was in shock. Robbie's smile went from ear to ear with joy! We were going to have a baby! Oh wow! We decided to tell our families even though it was early days. We called mum first - jumped in the Navara in the driveway so we could both hear her reaction over speaker phone. She was just delighted - there was going to be a baby in the family!

Marg was down in Melbourne for a girls weekend so we waited until the weekend to tell her the news to her face. We went to Stalactites, a Greek restaurant in the city. Robbie ever so discretely pulled up a high chair to the table and Marg didn't even notice! She was simply over the moon when we told her - and I had the privilege of telling dad over the phone. I bought a 'tear to his eye' that day!

It wasn't until the end of November that the morning sickness kicked in. Oh my goodness.

Out of all places for it to occur was a road trip down the Great Ocean Road for Robbie's 28th birthday. I had been looking forward to this weekend away but was so ill that we had to pull over so I could be sick at least once every half hour. Plus we almost ran out of petrol at one point - as you can imagine I was hardly in the mood to be stuck on the side of the road in that state! We stayed in a lovely B&B that was an alpaca farm and watched movies as I laid on the bed feeling worse for wear!

The morning sickness stayed with me from that weekend on. I had to tackle riding public transport into the city every day and as the heat of summer quickly approached it made it even harder. Our team Christmas party was at The Press Club. A place I had been looking forward to eating at and booked for us to enjoy the splurge on the company credit card. I felt faint (nothing out of the ordinary) and had to go to the bathroom. I passed a lot of blood and thought I had miscarried. I went out to Paul and said something was wrong and he called an ambulance.

I went to the hospital on my own and Paul had called Robbie explaining the situation. It felt like I had only been in emergency for five minutes when I saw Robbie's work boot under the curtain enclosing me in a small cubical. 'Everything's going to be all right', 'What happens happens', 'At least we know we can conceive' all words to reassure and comfort but never ease the anxiety.

We went for an ultrasound and it wasn't a pretty sight. I was hemorrhaging and crying because I knew what was happening. Nothing much was said in the ultrasound room until Robbie said he could see a heartbeat. I was in shock I think. I started crying even more because the baby I thought I had lost was now alive and there was even talk of the possibility of twins. I remember Robbie saying 'I told you so'. He was convinced we would have twins!

I was admitted as a patient with a 'threatened abortion' and told to expect to miscarry. Apparently it could take 2 days or 2 weeks to happen but it came across as though it was a certainty. Mum flew down while I was in hospital and Robbie got her a hotel room across the road so she could be near me. I was discharged after 2 nights and won't forget the drive home. I was crying in the front seat of the car.

I'd rather it just happen if it was going to happen and not have to sit around waiting. It was such a horrible feeling.

We had a Christmas BBQ at home with a whole lot of friends and family on the following Saturday night. It was so incredibly windy and we should probably have canceled considering the situation but we went ahead. We decided to tell people about our week and everyone was supportive and positive it would all work out. Anyway, I had another bleed that night and went to lie down. Mum and Heather sat with me as we all thought that it was the miscarriage but it never happened.

During the past week I had made an appointment to see Dr Jenny Picking and she was just wonderful. We went to have an ultrasound and our little heart beat was still flickering away strongly. What an incredibly emotional roller coaster of a ride. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. The tough decision was made to spend Christmas in Melbourne and lay low for a couple of weeks. Only time would tell how it was going to unravel and the best thing we could do was rest - and pray.

Our first camping trip with Penny

Our beautiful friends Kathy and Rick invited us up to Yarraqonga for the Melbourne Cup long weekend so we packed up the camping trailer and off we went. Robbie thought it would be a good idea to take the work ute so we had more room (valid point) however then mentioned we didn't have a spare tyre. After raiding the scrap metal bin at a Dandenong wreckers we found a 'just in case' substitute and hit the road. It was such a hot weekend with the weather up that way in the high 30s pushing low 40s. Penny was an angel and slept the whole way up (well until we were 10km out of town).

You can't have an O'Brien road trip without some sort of 'event' occurring!

This we laughed about as the headlight fell out on the Hume (with me panicking that it was a tyre blowing out!). Robbie popped it back in and off we went - only to discover we had a flat left rear when we hit town (yes, exactly what I dreaded!). Of course there were no tyre shops open at the weekend so the car was parked until Monday.Sunday morning we went into the market while Penny had 'daddy time' back at the camper as he fitted up the 'spare' tyre we pinched back home which miraculously fitted perfectly. In the afternoon we went for a swim and out on the boat and Robbie had a go at skiing and wake boarding - I was totally proud of him! Penny enjoyed a dip in the water and hanging out with daddy on the back of the boat in the shade. It was so lovely to relax with friends and enjoy the time away! Monday morning we decided we needed some 'time out' from society and hit the road to travel down to the High Country and camp in the bush. After getting new tyres in town we hit the road and enjoyed chatting (no radio) while Penny slept the entire way once again.We arrived in Woods Point and found the most beautiful place to camp with no neighbours. Compared to the caravan park where we were all crammed in like sardines and couldn't sleep due to the noise, this was heaven. There was a gorgeous stream running alongside the camper and Robbie built the perfect fire to sit at. We enjoyed it so much and felt totally at peace - our family's first camping trip!

Penny's feet

When you were a baby in my belly I used to call them 'twinkle toes' as you pushed your way around trying to get comfortable. As you grew we all laughed at my 'Frankenstein' belly as you twisted and turned.

Now you are here, every little toes is kissed to death. I stare in amazement at the tiny lines God has placed. The fluff between your miniature toes makes me smile. We massaged your big toe nail so they would grow over your skin. You love to kick your feet in the bath so much that you get cranky when you hit your head on the side of the laundry sink.

- Poem -

Tell me, what is half so sweet
As a baby’s tiny feet,
Pink and dainty as can be,
Like a coral from the sea?
Talk of jewels strung in rows,
Gaze upon those little toes,
Fairer than a diadem,
With the mother kissing them!

It is morning and she lies
Uttering her happy cries,
While her little hands reach out
For the feet that fly about.
Then I go to her and blow
Laughter out of every toe;
Hold her high and let her place
Tiny footprints on my face.

Little feet that do not know
Where the winding roadways go,
Little feet that never tire,
Feel the stones or trudge the mire,
Still too pink and still too small
To do anything but crawl,
Thinking all their wanderings fair,
Filled with wonders everywhere.

Little feet, so rich with charm,
May you never come to harm.
As I bend and proudly blow
Laughter out of every toe,
This pray, that God above
Shall protect you with His love,
And shall guide those little feet
Safely down life’s broader street.

Baby Feet by Edgar Guest

The start of something new...

Hello!

I'm creating this blog to get down some things that I always think I should journal but never seem to find the time to pick up a pen and paper. I have a beautiful new baby girl 'Penny' who has just reached 3 months of age and I'm afraid if I don't jot down my thoughts, feelings and memories of this beautiful time I will one day forget.

So here we go... Lis